Mr. Brass! Sally Brass;
I am raging, I am livid,
where can my brother be?
He stays away all hours
without consulting me.
His mind, the little worm,
I’ve come to learn, in lawyers terms
is brief......good grief!
his legal work’s beyond belief
Good god he is odd
father should have drowned the sod!
There’s no method, there’s no reason,
is grammar out of season?
If the law’s an Ass it’s clear
then brother Sammy is it’s rear. (To the servant). Girl, what is this mess?
You are as lazy as can be.
Do we pay you to be idle Marchioness; (Innocently).
No Ma’am I works for free. Sally;
Be silent, I have spoken (Strikes the girl)
take this token of my tender care! Marchioness; (Reeling in pain).
Thank you Ma’am,
I will try to do my share.(She drops a vase). Sally;
Be careful stupid girl,
do your dusting over there.
Yes you and Mr Brass,
you make quite a pair.
I disown you, I bemoan you,
In the Bible they would stone you.
So beware Mr Brass,
don’t you dare Mr Brass. Just wait Mr Brass
I’ll take the fool to task.
Too late Mr Brass, lie in state Mr Brass.
I’ll nip and lacerate him.
Slip? I may castrate him
cure that itch Mr Brass?
Change of pitch Mr Brass? Just think Mr Brass
I could make you up a Gin.
Take a drink from this glass,
try to guess what I’ve put in!
then while merrily partaking
you may note your hands are shaking,
with your whole foundations quaking
that’s the time for undertaking. And you’ll find your life is played out
when you’ve finally been laid out
then you’ll wish you hadn’t stayed out
without my say.
Feeling well Mr Brass?
There’s a smell Mr Brass,
Death knell Mr Brass
Go to Hell Mr Brass!! (There is a knock at the door Tom Scott enters). Tom Scott;
I’ve got a message here
from your brother Mr Brass.
he says he’ll be back soon
meanwhile go make up a room. Sally Brass;
Who for you fool? Tom Scott;
It’s for a lodger, he makes that very plain,
a single gentleman, a posh’n
but he’d move in all the same. Sally;
I didn’t ask for your reflections,
just give the note to me,
he’s made this move without my say Tom;
He says the gent arrives today. Sally;
Then I must practice my defiance.
He’ll know my anger come what may! Marchioness;
I listen to her speakin’
the words come leakin’ out.
She’s as coarse as any fishwife
she ain’t nothin’ but a Trout. Sally;
What is this spineless drivel,
a letter from a snivelling disgrace.
Mr Brass I will be your judge and jury.
Turn face Mr Brass,
let your sentence be my fury. So now who wears the trousers
I suspect the man is dense.
I mock his lawyers knowledge,
he has no real defence.
I know I have a case, he has no grace,
he’s just a waste of space,
Mr Brass,
I will smack him, I will whack him,
I’ll lace Mr Brass,
It’s my pleasure I’ll attack him.
I will bruise him, blue and black him
He’s an insect, I will crack him I will brain him, I will maim him,
he will have to call a quack in.
He’s got no lawyers standard,
his feeble mind’s meandered.
Now our reputation’s slandered
to that Quilp the fool has pandered.
(She now has the servants neck in her grasp). Take a pill Mr Brass,
what is that you’re gasping?
You feel ill Mr Brass?
Make a Will Mr Brass!! | 
